Kids at Weddings

Kids Get the Party Going!

When I was the bride and the perennial bridesmaid in multiple weddings, I would roll my eyes at the mention of kids in weddings.  Why take the focus off of the woman in White?  What good could come of it?  I had never seen the sense in forcing little ones to be quiet in a church or behave at a reception.  So why even invite them? 

The etiquette rule says that if  the wedding invitation is addressed to Mr. and Mrs. So and So, then only the parents are invited.  If it says “and family”  – then the kids are welcome.  Since fewer people are versed in etiquette these days, brides have resorted to to printing on the invitation “Adults Only, please”.  For those of you who are slow, that means DON’T BRING YOUR DAMN KIDS!  I attended a wedding in Los Angeles where the bride had expressed those sentiments and a few of the families from the grooms side brought their preschoolers anyhow.  Even worse – the new in-laws had little dresses made up to replicate the bridesmaid dresses for the uninvited youngsters.  So not only did they defy the brides wishes, they were making a statement that it was a pre-meditated affront.  The reception was $100 a plate and the hotel did not care if the plate holder was 70 years or 24 months.  So the 5 pee-wee wedding crashers cost the happy couple a pretty penny.

However, the reliability of kids behavior generally gets better as kids get older.  Is there an in-between rule out there that allows kids 6+?  Or a qualitative statement that says only well-behaved kids need show up?  The trouble with that one is that the parents are usually the worst judges of the criteria.  I am asking because there really is a bona-fide role for kids at a reception….. they usually get the dancing started. 

There is truly nothing cuter than gussied up little kids cutting the rug to “Celebrate Good Times”.  And no one is more likely to get the party going than a group of tween girls singing and dancing on the floor to Keisha.  After Moonlight Serenade is over, the only thing that will get the grandparents on the Soul Train is the urging of the grandkids. 

So I have softened my “no kids at the wedding” stance.  In fact, I love dancing with my family to celebrate these  joyous occasions.  Both of my kids are comfortable with swing dance to the chicken dance, so they can carry their part of the party!   I have officially moved to the middle ground of “Well behaved, good dancing, non sulking kids are definitely invited!”

What’s your stance on kids at Weddings?

One Comment

  1. Posted September 17, 2010 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

    It has been years since we have been to a wedding with kids (I wonder if it is because my kids are the misbehaved, bad dancing, sulky-types) hmmm….

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